Story: ‘I m meant to be alive’, Why Drew Robinson Attempted Suicide with A Gunshot?

  • AUTHOR: dua
  • POSTED ON: February 3, 2021

On the 16th of April 2020, Drew Robinson woke up, prepared breakfast for himself, and wrote a note to his family to explain why he wants to end his life. He spent the months before the day pondering in isolation why he hated his life. In the letter, he wrote that he hoped for them to eventually realize that no one could've foreseen what he is about to do because he had hidden it so well from the world – an attempt to ensure that no one blames themselves for his death.

He made his sincerest apologies to his closet circle of five – Diana, Darryl, Renee, Britney, and Chad. These are the same people who didn't know what he was struggling with – that he was suffocated with unimaginable sadness. Unfortunately, they too, believed the persona Drew created for himself. They knew him as a Major League Baseball player, who is charming and has a great sense of humor. They knew his as a guy who was living his dream – in reality; he wanted to die.

Anyone who read the letter could tell that Drew was ridden with guilt but he was still at peace with it. He cleaned up his space and left it completely spotless and got overcome with adrenaline as the time for him had come.

He picked up the gun, placed the note on the kitchen counter, rode on his truck to a nearby park and decided against the location. He immediately scratched another plan and went back home. He poured a glass of whiskey and sat on the coffee table. At around 8 PM, he picked up the gun again, pressed it hard against his temple and finally pulled up the courage to shoot.

This is what he had planned for himself. This was how his story was supposed to end.

Today, Drew Robinson is 28 years old. He spent 20 hours at home after finally getting hospitalized. He lost one of his eyes in the shooting. He is finally opening up about his journey and the process of healing and it is urging others to do the same.

The professional baseball player was drafted by the Texas Rangers in 2010 and debuted in the major league in 2017 and got traded to St. Louis Cardinals in 2018. He attempted suicide in April, almost one month after the pandemic started.

In a brand new interview with ESPN, the star player opened up like never before. He decided to be transparent about his life after the failed suicide attempt – especially the next 20 hours after the incident.

He said, "I'm here for a reason." without any self doubt!

It seems obvious that he was grappling with depression last April when he shot himself right in the temple. As his life wasn't meant to end, he survived a fatal gunshot. However, it may come as a surprise that he didn't reach out for help even after hours of laying down on the floor wounded.

He woke up the next day and contemplating if he should call 911 for help or shoot himself again, for good. He ultimately concluded that he wanted to live.

"I was supposed to go through that. I'm supposed to help people get through battles that don't seem winnable. It was completely supposed to happen. There's no other answer. It doesn't make any sense. It was supposed to happen.I'm free now. I shot myself, but I killed my ego."– He said, in the interview.

He revealed that he struggled with mental health issues for a couple of years – triggered at age 7 when his parents went through a divorce. He said that his family wasn't great at handling emotions due to which he had to go through a lot of stress and internal struggles all his life.


He further revealed that when he got drafted as a teen – he wasn't ready for the pressure. He said that the constant up and down of the career took a toll on him as well.

Hence, when he got released by the Cardinals in 2019, his state of mind worsened and triggered suicide ideation. That's when he realized how fickle his condition is and so he started seeing a therapist and included reading self-help books in his regime. Despite acquiring professional help, his condition didn't improve. He questioned every relationship in his life. 

He had eventually signed on a minor league contract with the San Francisco Giants in January – something non-guaranteed – and because of the pandemic; the season got cancelled as well.


After shooting and contemplating for the next 20 hours if he wanted to die or give life another shot, he decided to go with the latter. He called up 911 on the 17th of April. When he reached the hospital, he was told that he had ruptured his right eyeball and fractured his frontal sinus which ended up causing a leakage in the cerebrospinal fluid. He was also informed that he had a wound on his left cheekbone because of which he'll have to wear prosthesis close to his right eye.

Soon, his family rushed to the hospital to extend their support to him, but they were eventually asked to stay at home due to the strict SOPs. He revealed that he spoke to his older brother – Chad Robinson – that he was meant to be alive.

Today, Robinson is still undergoing therapy and has adopted meditation and baseball practice again. According to ESPN, the player has been signed on to a minor league once again for November.

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He is still fighting depression but he has acquired techniques to cope with it and continue living life.

"How can I go through this and not find a way to try to help other people or impact other people's lives? Just have this happen and just move on with my life the way I was before? There's no way. This was a huge sign. A huge, painful sign that I'm supposed to help people get through something that they don't think is winnable.Even though I have one less eye, I haven't seen things this clear my entire life."– Said Robinson as his final words of wisdom to the interviewee.

Drew Elliot Robinson, the famous American professional baseball infielder, committed suicide with a gunshot on April 16, 2020 as he was overwhelmed with sadness and self-doubt. He survived and today is alive to tell the tale of his rebirth. He said I’m meant to be alive” – putting forth an inspiring message for those struggling with mental health issues.

For similar stories, like our page on Facebook now. Also, check out celebrities who are total jerks in real life!

Updated February 3, 2021
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