The International Women’s Day is in less than a week, and so obviously, men are more and more interested to know about their rights and when their special day is.
Of course, it’s the men who’ve spent their entire lives fighting for their rights and taking a stand for humanity. They’re the ones who’ve been stared at or beaten to death because of their gender. They’ve been ripped of their educational and reproductive rights and made to feel insignificant, like a burden.
So, you know what? We need to talk about men on International Women’s Day, because that’s the only time they seem interested in men’s rights. They want to shed light on how important they are and what they’re capable of, so let’s give them that!
The first thing that they need to know is that International Men’s Day and World Toilet Day is celebrated on the same day. Yes, both international days 19th November lie on the same day. And no, this is not coincidental – this is a sign from the universe. The universe is screaming at the top of its lungs and telling us that there are some serious similarities between men and shit.
We’re going to ask you a simple question: How many times have you ever heard or said that men are shit? Do you get what we’re trying to say?
Like, why do you think this proverb is so popular? There has to be some truth to it, right?
And you know what? This is not some baseless argument that we’re trying to make just to piss off men. We have scientific evidence to prove this theory.
First of all, there’s nothing worse than diarrhea – it makes you feel uncomfortable and run towards the toilet, and look, same goes for men. You know what happens when they come in masses – they lynch, harass, and make you run as well, but for life in this case.
Besides, we all know that men have the natural ability to ruin everything good in your life, like sometimes, they don’t even have to try. And if you think about it, whenever you’re constipated or you’ve not had a pleasant dunk in the morning, you’re unsatisfied throughout the day. Basically, men and shit ruin your mood and everything good in life.
Also – and this is an important one – men and shit are like those pop up ads that appear when you least expect them. The timing is always off!
And hey, the next comparison that we’re about to make is an easy one – they both stink and are useless. What do you need men for? To start wars? To fight over stupid football matches? To kill and rape women? Well, if science continues to flourish, we hopefully won’t need their sperms to fertilize the eggs, so like, that argument will soon be flushed.
By the way, if you’ve ever broken up with a toxic man, you’d know that the satisfaction of letting them out of your system is the same as having a good shit. The bloating goes away, your skin looks fantastic, and you feel more energized and ready to take on the world.
According to science, the sign of a healthy shit is that it should be brown, and honestly, brown men are the worsttt!
Finally, after a lot of research, scientists have discovered that the bacteria in our gut – responsible for shit and everything – has the ability to influence our stress levels and emotional behavior. Well, we can safely address that it’s the same with men – they know exactly which button to press and trigger our emotional wellbeing. They’re the cause of all the hair loss that we’ve experienced due to stress. And guess what happens when we’re stressed? Shit.
Anyway, like our page to continue receiving more educational content and stay enlightened!
This International Women’s Day we hope for better health for men and boys but we also hope for toxic masculinity to die and gender roles to dismantle.