How to Come Out to Your Family and Friends at Christmas

  • AUTHOR: dua
  • POSTED ON: December 22, 2020

Christmas 2020!

Christmas holiday is the most special time of the year to connect with family and friends following New Year's Eve. You get to meet up with your friends and family who you might not have seen for a long time, and you can definitely look forward to copious amounts of hot choco and dessert.

The best time to celebrate holidays with family and friends in 2020!

What you might not be looking forward to at all are the constant questions about your private life. If you identify with the LGBTQIA+ community and haven’t come out of the closet yet, it can be especially hard for you.

If you’ve been thinking of coming out to your family and friends for a while, then let us tell you that Christmas is a great time to do so. It’s the only occasion when the entire family is together in one room, and you might not have a chance like this until next Christmas.

If you’re wondering what’s the best way to come out, remember it’s a process and there’s no one right way to do it. Here are some things you can consider when coming out to your family. But the number one rule is that it should feel right for you!

Start with one trusted person

It doesn’t have to be a grand announcement. If you have a go-to person in your family, start by telling them separately. It could be your closest sibling, your cousin, or someone who is openly queer. We’re sure they’ll be incredibly supportive, and you can also ask for their help to tell the rest of the family. Plus, it’ll also make it easier to have a friendly face around while telling everyone else.

Consider how to make the announcement

You shouldn’t feel that you can only come out by having a formal conversation. You can casually slip in the mention of your partner in a regular conversation or talk about how you went to an LGBTQIA+ event. If you think coming out before Christmas would be a good idea, consider doing it on email or text. This will give the other person some time to come up with their response.

You can also consider doing it over video call, as it gives you the option to hang up in case the conversation is taking an unpleasant turn. You have a lot of options, just choose a method you’re most comfortable with.

Prepare for questions

One thing is for sure, you’ll be answering a lot of questions once you come out. Things like how long have you known? Are you sure? Is there a special someone in your life? You might even have to be ready to handle disbelief and, as ridiculous as it sounds, some people might even try to convince you that you’re not queer.

In the midst of this chaos, you just have to remember that you know your identity better than anyone else. Don’t let anyone else define it for you. Set a clear boundary and tell them you’re sure of your orientation and you would love their support. You don’t need to answer any questions if you don’t want to.

Allow time to process information

After you’ve said your part, give the others some time to process the information. Silence can be uncomfortable but remember, even the most well-intended people would need some time. No response is better than a bad response. 

Don’t take negative reactions personally

People’s reactions are a reflection of their conscience and their beliefs, it has nothing to do with you. In case someone from the family has a bad reaction to your announcement, don’t let it drag you down. At any point if you feel like your safety is in question, don’t hesitate to physically remove yourself from the conversation and location.

It’s an on-going process

While you might have told your family about your sexual orientation, you’ll have to keep coming out to other people every now and then. Coming out is not a one-time thing.

Our society is wired to believe that everyone is hetero until otherwise indicated. So even if you’ve literally told everyone you know, you’ll have to keep repeating when you meet new people and go to new places – that is, if you wish to.

These were some of the things you should consider when you’re planning to come out to your family and friends on Christmas. While it’s good to think about other people’s feelings and reactions when making the announcement, you need to remember that you are the most important person at that time.

No matter what you do, think about yourself, your feelings, your safety and your comfort first and foremost.

That is all from our side, and we wish you the best of luck!

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Updated December 22, 2020
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