Where to begin…

2020 was intense.
Everything that you wished never happens happened. The year was like food stuck
in the esophagus – reluctant to go down or come out. In the first month of the
year, we were almost at the brink of war, we faced massive bushfires, and we
lost the legendary Kobe Bryant quite unexpectedly.

From thereon, there was
the pandemic, worldwide lockdown, economic despair, Yemini Civil War, American
elections, farmer’s protests, plane crashes, and the protest against police
brutality and racism.

But despite it all, the
future doesn’t look so grim because 2020 was also the year when Prince Harry
and Meghan Markel left the British throne to start a new life in America,
SpaceX deployed 60 Starlinks successfully, and the US Navy pilots released three
videos of unidentified aerial phenomena. In addition, Donald Trump finally got
kicked out of the Oval office and now we’ve got a vaccine in the picture.

All in all, the year
was terrible but with a saving grace.

And today is the last
day of the year. We’ve got another roller-coaster of a year ahead of us but
there’s something hopeful about it. Unlike last year, we don’t want to go
overboard with our resolutions and assume that it will be the year we transform
our lives. But there’s something optimistic about the future, because it can’t
be worse than what we’ve just been through. Can it?

Hence, it’s time to
make a universal prayer – something that will benefit everyone. It’s important
to start the New Year with new wishes and aspirations without going overboard
with promises and hopeless ambitions. We need to manage expectations, you see.

Let’s go for a
reasonable list of three prayers that will benefit people across the globe and
not make us look selfish and self-absorbed. And so, here’s our prayer for 2021!

While
you’re at it, make sure you’ve liked our page on Facebook because if not,
you’re missing out on some major news.

Okay, let’s get started
with the New Year prayer blessing!

Pray
For the Death of Capitalism

The capitalism vs.
communism debate is never-ending, but we know which side we are on. The
bottom-line for us is that Capitalism is plain stupid. We live in a time when
our conversations are restricted by political correctness, and its time we let
go of that shackle and speak the truth out in the universe.

So let’s start by what
capitalism is. It’s a system in which a country’s trade and industry are controlled
by private owners for profit. Going by the definition, a capitalist is a
wealthy person who uses situations to their own advantage. It vilifies people
of low-economic backgrounds and deprives them of opportunities.

Now please tell us if
you still support capitalism? Are you a capitalist who capitalizes on
opportunities that are unfair and unearned?

SO YEAH… DEATH TO
CAPITALISM.

Pray
For a Batman Strip Tease

Okay hear us out. In
the new Batman movie, Robert Pattinson is playing the role of Batman. After a
long time, we’ve got a Batman who’s got a natural swag and sex appeal. Agree or
not, Ben Affleck was just terrible.

Anyway, if you’ve watched
the famous Dior ad of Robert Pattinson, you will have to join the bandwagon and
pray for a Batman

strip tease in the year 2021. It will cure hunger, save
lives, and protect the endangered animals. Okay maybe not, but you get the
point.

Ever since Good Times
released, we’re seeing a 2.0 version of Robert Pattinson – he’s more reckless
and fearless. And don’t we love that combination of traits in men? It has
naturally increased his desirability. Look, a small show by Robert Pattinson
harms absolutely no one, in fact, it distracts him from indulging in his
on-and-off cooking ventures which do have the potential to harm him and people
close by.

Pray
For Alien Domination

Not all aliens are like
the ones in The Quiet Place. Some of them are cuddly, affable, and reliable.
And honestly, when did you find all three of these traits in one human being?
Exactly, the ratio is one or the same, so why not put your faith in aliens.

Look, we wouldn’t mind a world where cats dominate either, but then there’s
going to be the inevitable cat vs. dog debate and ain’t nobody got time for
that. Let’s cut to the chase and pray for alien domination because #NotAllAliens.

Do you have a New Year prayer
request? We may accept more but nothing related to an Among Us update – that’s
where we draw the line.

Happy New Year 2021!