Due to the pandemic,
the experts asked people to have safe sex in order to avoid the mass spread of
the infection. Therefore, in March, New York City issued guidelines on how to
have safe sex and the document obviously went viral because of the hilarious content.

Source: Twitter

Now, NYC’s Department
of Health has redesigned the guidelines as the situation has changed but don’t
worry, this document contains amazing content too.

 

Just like the previous
set of guidelines, this one also establishes that “YOU” are the safest sexual
partner which indicates that to calm your hormones, you can practice
masturbation instead of risking contact with any other human, especially if you
live alone. However, as the lockdown has eased NYC has become more lenient, saying
that you can have sex with another human being now.

 

On a serious note, you
need to ask your sexual partner questions related to the symptoms of the virus
before indulging in any activity that requires contact.

 

NYC’s department of
health stated that it is impossible to stop people from having sex, now that
the risk of the pandemic is beginning to lower. So the hilarious part of the
document reads, “If two is a company then three (or more) is definitely a
crowd.” Yes, the authorities know about your massive orgys.

 

You are also required
to have sex in a well-ventilated space and keep a hand sanitizer on you at all
times. The more we read this statement the more hilarious it sounds. Imagine
stopping in the middle of the sex, asking your partner to sanitize themselves. Definitely a turn on!

Source: NYC

However, while sex is
allowed, NYC is still against kissing or any form of oral sex. They asked all
the citizens to wear a face mask which frankly sounds more like role play. If
you’re into that, we are not judging. “Maybe it’s your thing, maybe it’s not,”
the guidelines read, “but during COVID-19 wearing a face covering that
covers your nose and mouth is a good way to add a layer of protection during
sex.”

 

Now you might have used
your imagination for the previous parts but in one section of the document, NYC
gets dirty and actually recommends kinky sex. Yes, you read the right. “Be
creative with sexual positions and physical barriers, like walls, that allow
sexual contact while preventing close to face contact.”

Source: NYC

So now is the time to
put that cheap erotica you read in 10th grade but were too shy to enact, to
use.