Due to the pandemic, the experts asked people to have safe sex in order to avoid the mass spread of the infection. Therefore, in March, New York City issued guidelines on how to have safe sex and the document obviously went viral because of the hilarious content.

Source: Twitter

Now, NYC’s Department of Health has redesigned the guidelines as the situation has changed but don’t worry, this document contains amazing content too.

Just like the previous set of guidelines, this one also establishes that “YOU” are the safest sexual partner which indicates that to calm your hormones, you can practice masturbation instead of risking contact with any other human, especially if you live alone. However, as the lockdown has eased NYC has become more lenient, saying that you can have sex with another human being now.

On a serious note, you need to ask your sexual partner questions related to the symptoms of the virus before indulging in any activity that requires contact.

NYC’s department of health stated that it is impossible to stop people from having sex, now that the risk of the pandemic is beginning to lower. So the hilarious part of the document reads, “If two is a company then three (or more) is definitely a crowd.” Yes, the authorities know about your massive orgys.

You are also required to have sex in a well-ventilated space and keep a hand sanitizer on you at all times. The more we read this statement the more hilarious it sounds. Imagine stopping in the middle of the sex, asking your partner to sanitize themselves. Definitely a turn on!

Source: NYC

However, while sex is allowed, NYC is still against kissing or any form of oral sex. They asked all the citizens to wear a face mask which frankly sounds more like role play. If you're into that, we are not judging. “Maybe it's your thing, maybe it's not,” the guidelines read, "but during COVID-19 wearing a face covering that covers your nose and mouth is a good way to add a layer of protection during sex.”

Now you might have used your imagination for the previous parts but in one section of the document, NYC gets dirty and actually recommends kinky sex. Yes, you read the right. “Be creative with sexual positions and physical barriers, like walls, that allow sexual contact while preventing close to face contact.”

Source: NYC

So now is the time to put that cheap erotica you read in 10th grade but were too shy to enact, to use.